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Growing Through the Days

Hearing someone read their own speech, puts said speech into a new light. When you read it on paper, for yourself, it might just be words, that mean absolutely nothing to you. But hearing someone recite it, and hearing the different pitches that indicate emotions, it really makes you feel, if anything, something. I feel that I have grown as listener through that. I’m able to connect with the intensity of someones speaking, because you know that they are talking about something so important to them, and you in turn, have something that you feel just as strongly about.
I am growing as a speaker every time I attend a KYA/KUNA/LTC conference or meeting. I’m asked to speak, something that sounds so simple, yet is harder said than done.

 Through these conferences and meetings, I also grow as a listener, having to hear personal stories. When this happens, I hope to never feel sympathy, because that isn’t right, when you hear such deep, personal stories, you should want to be empathetic. You should want to understand.

I also think, that writing these blogs, I have grown as a writer, in the sense that I can type out opinions in a more organized way. Writing a blog is also yet another way, to express ones feelings/personal beliefs, which I am always up for if it’s in good nature.

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Speak up you, you say?

Public speaking. Do I have to? Yes. Do I want to? Sure. Is it easy? Heck no. Public speaking has never been my strong suit. I have attended 4 Debatable and 1 Non-debatable Y-Conference(s), and I would like to be able to say it gets easier. But if you’re someone like me, sometimes the odds are against us. But the people I have met, and people I will continue to meet, encourage me to no end. So if I know the answer in class, I don’t feel my stomach twist into knots whenever I raise my hand. I’m no longer afraid to speak in group discussions. As the years go by, I find myself considering the all to very near future of having to narrow down my career choices. What I really and truly want, is to work for the F.B.I. Specifically, to work in the B.A.U. (the Behavioral Analysis Unit) Through this field, you do a lot of talking, you conduct or take part in meetings, and you work with a lot of strangers. I’ve grown from being the shy, little girl, into a confident, still short, woman.
I struggle with talking in class the most. Especially if it’s a class full of people I barely know. I can stand up in front of about 50 people, peoples whose first names I don’t even know, and I can talk. But maybe, it’s because after three days, I won’t see them for at least another four months. But I can’t face the same people, every day.
In English this year, we were asked to participate in a Socratic Circle. I was nervous, I figured it be just like seventh grade all over again, speaking up and contributing maybe once. But that day, I really surprised myself. I talked several times, well past the required amount. And I enjoyed it. I think I really owe that to my english teacher, for having an assignment like that. When I did similar assignments in the seventh grade, we weren’t asked to discuss things that I was well versed over. But this year, we were asked to talk about three books, that’s it. And I could do that, I could talk about any book I’ve read. Another thing was that my teacher didn’t insert herself into the discussion, unlike my seventh grade teacher. I feel like that is what the true world is like. In the real world, you don’t have someone talking you through things, inserting comments that ease things along.

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I read. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. I will read any genre, and this year, I feel as if I have expanded my selection of books due to the books I am required to read over the summer for school. I have never, in my life changed the strageties for how I read. I just read, CRAVEIQ confuses me, and I don’t like to question every little thing. I want my book to take me away, whether I’m in a clearing with Mr. Darcy, or going to fish parties with Georgia Nicolson. I’ve learned that when I read, I read according to my mood. I find it odd, most people would want to pick up a happy book when they’re in sad, I’m quite the opposite. What I find most interesting is picking that book that is such a challenge. I can read a 500 page book in a week, or a book in two hours. Finishing a book is thrilling, it’s basically life changing, because every time you finish a new book, you come away with a changed opinion or a new found interest. If I want adventure, I’ll read Peter Pan. If I’m the mood, I pick up a Sarah Dessen book, which I almost always do projects on. I have to pick books I can relate to, if I need to do a project. Over the summer I was asked to read Night by Ellie Wiesel. It’s a Holocaust book, one of the best well written ones I have ever read. But I always find it such a challenge to relate to something so horiffic. But when I’m asked to read such books for school, I feel as if every time I finish the book and the assignment, my skill at relating has grown. Which you will  forever need in life. Because empathy is something you should always have, even for the smallest of things. In many ways, reading has changed my life, almost as if the books I read, factor in to who I surround myself with.

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Writing, This I Believe Speeches

During the summer, I attended a Leadership Training Camp (LTC). The theme for that conference, was This I believe. We were asked to write a speech conveying our beliefs on the last night there.We were asked to call upon our four core beliefs. I was torn between writing about Acceptance or Friendship. I asked myself though, acceptance of what? Of everything? Of anything? Of what? So decided on friendship, the conference had changed my opinion of it. Before, I already had a strong sense and belief in my friendship with my best friend. But, attending that conference with her, was amazing. So in an hour, I wrote a this I Believe speech. It had 297 words. There wasn’t any editing, there wasn’t any proof reading. And the next morning, I stood up, and I read it. It’s probably one of my favorite writing pieces I have written. I put my heart in it.

This year in school, the sophomores are required to write a This I Believe speech. When I heard we had to, I was ecstatic. I was getting another to chance to write another speech, that meant so much to me. This time around, I wrote about my beliefs on not letting your fears hinder your progress, your dreams. I have currently written two drafts for it. And the word count is much higher. But sometimes I have to think, about whether or not I really believe in this speech as much as I did my first one. Anyone who reads my current one, questions what my belief is, what point I’m trying to get across. But then I remind myself that I’ve never expected everyone to understand my pieces, because if they did, I don’t think you’re writing from the soul. Written pieces, are meant to be personal, and mine is. I continue to grow as a writer, learning how to correct mistakes and fix misspellings along the way. At the end of the day, during this process of writing my second This I Believe speech, I hold it in high regards, right next to the first.

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